So, there are two very important pieces of eye candy in our office.
No, I’m not talking about the images of scantily clad models in our conference room, the pinups of some early-2000s cell-phone wallpaper campaign. Rather, I’m talking about a massive portrait of Chairman Mao, rendered purple and pomo the way only Andy Warhol could have imagined. This painting hangs behind the big boss’ desk. In the conference room is piece number two, a pack of wild cheetahs picking a zebra to pieces.
It goes without saying that every good enterprise needs a good interior decorating sense.
Whether it’s a paint scheme reminiscent of a supernova, all funked out, jazzed up yellows, reds and oranges, or the poster reminding us not to eat in the master control room (quick aside – it features some of the most disgusting, fattening foods ever imagined; hard to keep your appetite with that glaring at you) – the point is that the décor often has an underlying point.
If you’ve ever worked in a call centre (or browsed the internet for that matter) you’ll know what motivational posters are. They usually say something vaguely inspiring, like my personal favourite: “extraordinary: the only difference between it and ordinary is that little extra” – puke!
Thankfully, there are none of these mass-produced monstrosities here at TXT-TV.
“The Cheetah Picture”, as its known locally, is National Geographic quality, super glossy, not even in your face – its on the same wall as the door which leads into the conference room – ergo, you don’t notice it until you’re seated, by which time you’re trying to figure out what the cheetahs are doing. When you realize they’re feasting on the entrails of freshly iced zebra, well, you get a damn good idea of the top brass’ outlook on the business world. Fortunately it didn’t faze too many of us moderators. We all got a nice kick out of it; I guess our generation already digs on the cutthroat nature of business.
The painting of Mao is harder to wrap my head around. On the one hand, it’s goofy, disjunct and very post-modern. On the other hand, it was a bit disheartening to see when I first came in for my interview. I wonder if its meant to psych people out, or if its part of the twisted head-games I’m convinced are what separates us from upper management. Think on it – if you could be the boss of a big company, let alone a cutting edge television network, wouldn’t you want to be the boss on the road less travelled, the unique crazy guy sitting under Mao’s beaming quasi-smile? I know I’d love it.
So what am I, your intrepid moderator, to make of all this TXT-TV craziness? Go with the flow, take it in stride, protest vehemently? What am I to make of cheetahs devouring their prey and the enlightened leader of China
Like in the waiting room, what can only be described as a wooden Einstein with outstretched hands, purportedly riding a skateboard. I’m still not sure what the purpose is, though its at least five feet tall, and a bit disconcerting when you’re leaving after the late shift and there’s a weird human form standing near the doorway. Then there’s the hockey puck imbedded in the glass door of the boss’ office, as though it was being slapshoted out of there. Yes, he’s a hockey fan, but who isn’t these days (BTW – be sure to check out Road to the Cup sports fans)?
So what am I to do? Confer with the other Mods of course.
Had the immense pleasure of working with several of my co-workers for the first time last night. Since I’m normally pulling day shifts it was a big change – and a welcome one too. In our conversation, I discovered they were also similarly perplexed. What a load off – at least now I don’t have to be puzzled alone. We had a variety of theories as to what these oddities were for – the message seems clear at least in one case, confusingly subtle in the other. Either way, our conversation, though of course it couldn’t be heard by the viewers, must have been picked up by osmosis. Haven’t had nearly as many new and repeat texters as last night – what a delight.
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