Behind the Scenes at TxT-TV

Show me the MONEY!

2010-11-24T09:54:00.000-05:00

So, here I sit at my desk, contemplating whether or not I should purchase this really cheap ticket to Vegas. It'd be sort of a birthday gift to myself--twenty-two years on this Earth and I've never even been to the wild west! Let's weigh the options: I'm somewhat of a realist, so I like to start with the cons and see how the pros stack up to them..

Here it goes: Vegas is more of a man's city, where former jocks and frat boys gather to throw themselves bachelor parties, which usually entail three-day long binges that involve strippers and vodka, namely Grey Goose or Belvedere ('cuz they're ballers, like that). Obviously, I'm no frat boy, so these things bear little interest to me. I don't hate on strippers, because a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and I'd like to think that most of these bright, young women are simply paying off student loans with their toplessness. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just trying to restore some faith in humanity.

Secondly, I hate buffets and their promise of all you can eat. I don't like the thought of food lying around in the open-air, where bacteria and disease mutate and multiply by the dozens. Mind you, all-you-can-eat sushi sounds appetizing, and I am getting fed-up with artificial crab (aka "pollack"). The heat seems unbearable, too. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, so naturally the fear of sun-stroke scares me; fainting in some foreign place, with drunk, incapable people hovering all around me wondering if I’m dead or something is not my idea of a good time. But, I'm all pasty and white and unlike most Canadians, I can actually tan, without looking like I hopped off of the Jersey Shore bandwagon.

Pros: I think it would be a birthday to remember (or, if all goes as planned, not remember). There are certainly some great shows in Vegas, too bad Celine isn't around anymore, belting out tunes I can hear on Canadian radio fourteen times a day. Siegfried and Roy do sound pretty entertaining. I like their German accents and being all toasty like George Hamilton. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of cats, so I might sit near the rafters, pumped up on a bunch of allergy meds, for fear of being eaten or sneezing myself into oblivion. There's lots of celeb watching that can be done, if you count the Kardashians and Paris Hilton as A-listers. Maybe I'll be able to get into some D-List pool party at Wet Republic for someone like Avril Lavigne or Brody Jenner. Also! Being a high-roller comes pretty cheap, I found a schveet suite overlooking the strip for under 50$ (Canadian!) per night. And if I play my cards wisely, I might get upgraded to penthouse. You know, with the big beds that are made for extremely gigantic basketball players and are equipped with bowling alleys? Nice.

But I'm not one to be taking a chance, as you can surely tell; I'm more of a pessimist (or, as mentioned earlier on, a "realist"). So, gambling at a craps table and letting some dice decide my financial fate isn't really my thang. I'm no Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man," so the likelihood of my Vegas winnings are slim to none. I like the idea of governing my own destiny and rationally, meticulously, determining my expenses. Now, partaking in an auction is more up my alley because I still feel the adrenaline while remaining in total control and, most importantly, the rewards are always greater than none. What better feeling is there than to walk away with more than you started with? Who knows, maybe after tuning into Bid For Cash a few nights in a row I'll be able to take that (much needed) vacation after all!

Game-on!

PARANORMAL TEXTIVITY?

2010-11-13T09:19:00.002-05:00

My apologies for not having written sooner. I’ve been so spooked by the incidents that have occurred lately that I didn’t have the guts to tell anyone about it. Now I’ve safely assumed that there is either a ghost following me or I’ve watched too many horror flicks for my own good and am therefore going crazy! But all of that aside, I hope everyone had a fun Halloween!

Anyways, all my spookiness started on the 30th. It was the night before Halloween and I was working late in the office. I decided to take a break after hitting the 12-hour mark and picked up an espresso from the Italian deli next door. Once I got back to my desk, I remembered that the camera from last night’s Halloween party was still in my bag and thought that it’d be fun to go through the pictures and post them on Facebook. Maybe I was tired, maybe I smudged the lens with chocolaty fingers, or MAYBE I just have a terrible camera, BUT there was DEFINITELY something up with the photos. Not just one or two accidental snap shots, but each and every picture I was in featured a dark shadow above my left shoulder. EACH AND EVERY PICTURE. WTF?! I didn’t know what to do; I was alone in an office with a cold draft, minimal lighting and heard weird sounds from the air vents. SO… in a frightened panic… I deleted all the photos!

(On a side note: My friends are peeved they don’t have any tagged pictures)

THEN, to make matters worse, and just as I was getting over the whole "dark shadows" debacle, I get a text message “from the future.” Yes, the future. OK, here’s what happened: it’s Wednesday and I’m celebrating happy hour with a group of friends (like every week since January) and my phone vibrates on the table. The text is blank, from a phone number I do not recognize and, get this, with a date received that reads: December 5th, 2019 at 11:49PM. MAJOR WTF?! As soon as I get home, I go online and start researching what this means (if it means anything at all). I come across “paranormal” forums and find out that multiple people across North America have received similar texts with dates “received” which are all within the month of December 2019 and minutes before midnight. Believers think these are “text messages from the future,” but I’m skeptical. At this point, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

What do you think? Was I caught in a series of strange circumstances? Am I over analyzing? Has this ever happened to you? (Please say yes so that I’m not crazy)

I’ll tell you what I will do though, I’m totally calling http://mystic.eso.tv (check ‘em out at 9am and 1pm every day on TXT-TV) to see if they have any answers for me!

Q&A With The Ladies Behind SXT IT UP

2010-10-29T13:06:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday I had a brunch date with the femmes of SXT IT UP. It was the first time we’ve been together outside of work and I must admit I was quite nervous. These women are even hotter in person! I’ve never seen so many men (and angry girlfriends) staring, but after countless cups of coffee and heaps of pancakes, our afternoon rendez-vous was quite fun! We chatted about all things under the sun, from our personal lives to their new roles as TXT-TV hosts ...some things were so risqué I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but here’s what flew under the radar:

How did you get started with TXT-TV?

Cher: Two words: Interviews and auditions. By the fourth interview I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, like, was I applying to become a CIA operative or TV host?

Dom: Yeah, same here. I remember seeing Cher in the lobby during my first interview–she must have been my good luck charm!

Dez: I know a lot of people in the entertainment industry, so a friend told me about the position but it was very confidential. People had no idea where I would run off to for weeks until the first show aired!

Cher reveals that she's secretly addicted to Twitter, Facebook & texting.

Were your friends shocked to find out you were hosts of a show called SXT IT UP?

(The girls look at each other and laugh)

Dom: My brothers were nervous their friends would find out–they didn’t want them “sexualizing” me. I’m a homebody, so I guess it was kinda shocking, but this job lets me come out of my shell. Plus, I can’t think of a better way to earn money while in still school!

Cher: Man, I wish I had this job when I was in college! My friends don’t quite understand the concept of the show, they just say “Cher’s a TV star” which isn’t anywhere near true, but I don’t feel like explaining for the umpteenth time what my role is.

Dez: My friends thought this was perfect for me. I’m a sexy, social butterfly!

Cher: It might come as a surprise to you, but even though I’m not a big party girl and enjoy being curled up on the couch, this show suits me ‘cuz I’m encouraged to own my sexuality.

You’re all so different, but there’s great chemistry here. Why do you think that is?

Dom: I don’t have any sisters, so they’re like my older sisters.

Cher: Meaning we give her terrible advice about boys.

Dez: ...and girls!

Dom admits she was a tomboy, but is now having fun exploring her girly side.

Some people think that it’s empowering to be open about sex and sexuality, but others disagree. What sets SXT IT UP apart from other TV shows?

Dez: The audience is a major part of the show!

Dom: Yeah, they determine what directions we’ll go in and how far the envelope will be pushed each night.

Dez: You know, there’s nothing wrong with fulfilling your fantasies. In fact, I like it because we become a part of their lives!

Dom: You can’t compare SXT IT UP with other TV shows. They’re all the same and so predictable, whereas SXT IT UP is constantly evolving, thanks to the viewers!

Dez: Oh! And the news is just depressing!

Are you able to have romantic relationships when your job is to sxt and flirt with other people?

Cher: It’s difficult to find somebody in general let alone someone who is comfortable with sharing you, but I’m definitely on the market and dating a few people.

Dom: That’s true. What I like about this job more than working at a bar or wherever is that I have my anonymity. My fantasies and relationships don’t follow me home, unless I want them to.

Dez loves to enjoy herself and has a lot of vices.

Are you saying you haven’t been recognized?

Dom: No, the Dominique that goes to school and plays hockey with her brothers doesn’t have the hair and make-up you see on TV.

Dez: I’ve been recognized a few times, but that’s ‘cuz I’ve modeled here and there for years. They don’t know my name, but men approach me with the “have we met before” line all the time!

What do you hope viewers take away from SXT IT UP?

Dez: I hope they have fun and want to come back for more!

Dom: The playful vibe is key! I love PM’ing because we can take the conversation to a whole other level that can’t be done on TV.

Cher: For some people, SXT IT UP is like foreplay, and we’re happy to help. For others, we form these unique relationships. It all depends on what the viewer is looking for, but I like to think that we’re realizing people’s fantasies and helping them to move one step closer to the person they want to become.

BEHIND-THE-SCENES AT TXT-TV: AFTER HOURS!

2010-10-06T16:43:00.000-04:00

Summer’s over, but TXT-TV is still in full swing!

You might be wondering, “Mods, don’t you have friends or a life to enjoy?” Well, the answer is yes - of course we do. There were barbecues and beer-pong tournaments that were missed out on because we were holed up in TXT-TV HQ, but I don’t regret a single shift.

Working late nights can be stressful and boring, but not at TXT-TV! Honestly, it’s a party in the MCR as soon as the office clears out. Did the former blogger tell you how HQ feels more like an arcade than a work place? There’s a [childproof] dartboard, catch-it-cone (fun!), an oversized blue monkey (which has been put in ...um, compromising positions) and (my personal fave) a poster of the office mustache competition in its full glory.

Obviously, we take our work seriously and try to deliver the best programming, so these toys and decorations are only played with and admired during our breaks. It just so happens that the International Fireworks Competition would set-off during the 10:30PM trivia shows (i.e. break time!) and we got the best view in the city from HQ’s 6th-story window. Seeing the sky light up could make us wish we were outside enjoying the summer weather and drinking mojitos on a rooftop bar, but your texts kept us well-entertained all through the night. Sometimes they were so good (read: dirrty) we wouldn’t dare put them on live television, but boy did we have fun reading them!

The one magic word during our late-night shift is: CAFFEINE.

Lucky for us, HQ is well stocked in that department. We have this fancy coffee maker that we load up with robust beans called “Midnight Express” that kicks sleepiness out the window and welcomes insomnia with open arms. Once the caffeine is pumping through our veins, a new wave of wired excitement rushes through the MCR and music begins to play. These tunes are not only essential for our sanity, but for getting us in the right mood to work at our full potential. Mood is very important and dictates the vibe of each show; Marvin Gaye doesn’t exactly jibe with “My Life Sux,” but goes swimmingly with the “Sxt It Up” action! We’ve discovered a few gems (check out: Grooveshark and stereomood) which you could use for your personal enjoyment and can stream online for FREE!

All of this to say, late nights at TXT-TV are filled with fun and excitement! So, JOIN THE PARTY! Be sure to check out the revamped version of “SXT It Up” starting every night at 11PM with your new (sexy!) hosts Cher, Dez and Dom!

New Kid In Town

2010-09-09T11:09:00.003-04:00

As our loyal readers know, our resident blogger has bid farewell to TXT-TV. On behalf of the team, we wish him all the best in his future endeavors and know that his wit and humour will bring him great success.

Please bear with me ladies and gentlemen, because I have big shoes to fill (literally!). I’ve been working as a TXT-TV moderator for the past six months and have gotten to know our texters quite well, but now I’m excited to get my hands dirty and engage with you on this entirely different platform!

Like my esteemed predecessor, I’ll be operating from the front lines of TXT-TV, so be prepared for more inside scoops and direct access to behind-the-scenes action than you can handle! Our station is constantly evolving—and believe me, this blog will keep pace with all of the exciting changes! Not only will you get to know your new blogger (me!), you’ll also meet members of the TXT-TV team as they contribute future blog posts!

There’s never a dull moment at TXT-TV HQ, especially when you’re building a television channel, so climb aboard (read: follow this blog!) and join us as we continue to go boldly where no channel has gone before!

I’d also like to know who you are, so don’t be shy to comment or ask questions.

Stay tuned ‘cuz the best is yet to come!!

On the Road Again

2010-08-26T16:57:00.002-04:00

So, it’s been a little while now hasn’t it…

The last little while has been pretty eventful, more than I could really have ever imagined. Me and a buddy got jumped outside a bar (we’re fine – the other guys not so much ;-), I got to house-sit my best friend’s super funky apartment in an uber cool neighbourhood and, for the last four days, have experienced the ungodly wrath of a stomach flu that kept coming back for more.

With all of that going on, it was quite by accident that I found myself getting a new job.

So, I guess this is goodbye. But I’ve always preferred until we meet again…

Sometimes that’s just life – you fall ass backwards into something you didn’t even know you could do, and it fits and the stars and planets align and you say, well coincidence or not, something’s up here. Sure, its surreal – some would say synchronicity. I don’t believe in such things, but I’ve always appreciated the plot twists on the road.

So, it is with much regret that I bid you all adieu and move on to a new experience.

Having documented TXT-TV on its way up from what was little more than an idea several months ago to a fully-fledged network has been very exciting to say the very least. But most of all, it was a real treat to work with all the fine people here behind the scenes. They know who they are and they’re all good people, it was indeed a pleasure getting to know them. It was fascinating and challenging, and ultimately quite a rewarding experience all around.

As I leave TXT-TV, I leave confident this network is in very capable hands, because when you enjoy what you do it’s effortless, and I don’t think I had ever seen a place where people went to work so at ease, so comfortably. It definitely caught the eye.

Long may you run…

Touchdown Chowdown Touches Down

2010-08-05T14:52:00.000-04:00

So, as some of you doubtlessly remember from having read and carefully annotated all of my previous blog posts, we recently ran a Reverse Auction contest called Touchdown Chowdown. This was a contest that ran for a month where viewers and texters like you texted in bids in hopes of coming out at the end of the contest, with the lowest, unique bid and therefore, winning the contest. Many of you loyal viewers/testers played and interest was high enough to merit continued examination of whether such a program will be feasible in the future.

In case you were wondering, someone did win this inaugural Reverse Auction contest, right here on TXT-TV.

Last Thursday, Neil L. from Scorborough, Ontario, and a friend drove down to Montreal as part of the Touchdown Chowdown grand prize, which included 2 primo tickets to see the Argos take on the Als at the newly renovated Molson Stadium, 2 nights accommodation at the Hotel du Fort, a gas card to get from Scarborough to Montreal and back, and last but not least, $500 worth of eats and drinks at some of Montreal’s finest pubs, including: McKibbins Irish Pub, PJ O’Hara’s, Ziggy’s Pub and the Irish Embassy.

We trust that Neil and his friend had a blast in Montreal and remind you, my faithful readers, to stay tuned to TXT-TV for more Reveres Auction contests – you never know, you could be our next winner!

The Unforgettable Fire (Burning Down the House)

2010-07-28T10:45:00.001-04:00

Before continuing – I want to welcome a long lost mod back to the fold. He had to leave us for some time but now finds himself caught up in the warm, fuzzy embrace of a nascent TV network. Considering he hasn’t been here pretty much since the beginning, I can only imagine just how radically different everything is (don’t worry – he’ll catch up by reading this blog post!)

So, on with the show...

Unfortunately, high pressure text shows such as our own, where the desire to be eloquent meets the realities of quick typing, often leads to people seeming to come close to bursting a gasket. Such was the state of affairs a few days ago as we became inundated with all forms of inflammatory rhetoric. The users were first timers and gave us the impression they were working as a team.

And I’m all like – what? Convo-baiters and text trolls are now working in cahoots?

Has the world gone loco? The answer to the aforementioned – No, it’s the children who are wrong…

Ok, fine – call me on it why don’t you – that was Principal Skinner – a lot of our loyal viewers use Simpson’s quotes and images as their avatars, who am I to stop the runaway freight-train of pop culture? Anyways – it looks like we’ll be dealing with trolls for some time, and I guess we’ll just have to get used to it.

A big element of the job is to assist people in getting the full appreciation and utility of the network, which is partially a text/chat/open forum conversation generator, but also serves to create and develop highly personalized fantasies.

Consider: the avatars, the nicknames, the personalities – even what’s being said may come in a form you’d never associate with the actual person doing the texting. And why not? People need to escape and not all of us will live the life of that Dos Equis Guy (stay thirsty my friend…) So TXT-TV can and does allow its users to develop virtual extensions of themselves for entertainment purposes. Hell, some people have been able to use TXT-TV to meet new people and develop friendships.

I suppose I’ll leave you with a reminder, that TXT-TV is entertainment, but rest assured, it’s always in our interest to ensure you have a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

We learn quickly from our beloved texters – you keep us on our toes!

Trolls: They’re doing it for the Lulz (Part 3)

2010-07-22T13:17:00.000-04:00

So, a few days back we mods discover what can only be described as Trolls-in-Concert. Multiple texts coming in from various different texters sporting different nicknames, spelling out lurid sex acts and proposing extremely offensive discussion topics.

It was, in its own right, a breath of fresh air – usually the trolling happens sporadically, this was the first instance of collaborative trolling we had experienced.

It was further complicated by the fact that one of the users had a pre-approved nickname that ought to have raised alarms before it was approved. This can happen, especially when you’re sorting through hundreds of nicknames and profile pics that all require diligent consideration. What can I say – TXT-TV is getting more and more popular every day.

Now keep in mind, rules about vulgarity change around 11pm, and as any devotee of our late-night programming can attest, raunch certainly abounds on TXT-TV ‘after the lights go out’. Most of this is harmless and playful, fun without being creepy or offensive. It’s a necessary concession, similar in principle to the un-written rule about public-drinking (keep it in a brown paper bag and don’t act like a fool) – there needs to be a time when the strictures of the established rules are relaxed – it’s a give and take thing.

Moreover, its not like we’re a bunch of prudes either.

We all dig on the raunch, the offensive, the limits of comedy and trying to figure out where the line lies. A tendency in broadcast media I’ve noticed is that the people behind the scenes and the people at the mic over-compensate for what they’re not allowed to say on air when they’re off the air. A cousin of mine is the morning DJ for a local radio station – he curses a blue streak, real sailor styles, whenever the mic is turned off. On air, he’s a real sweetheart – the kind of guy you’d think nothing of introducing to your conservative grandparents.

Regardless, we find ourselves delighted by the attempts of the numerous trolls if for no other reason than it has become functionally taboo for us – we love it even more when it has a hint of subtlety or cleverness to it. But alas, the work of the obvious troll is easy to spot and habitually will never make it to air.

I want the trolls to know their work is widely appreciated by the mods, despite the fact it will never see the light of day. Try harder if you must, but be aware we’re paid to be hyper vigilant. It may seem paradoxical, but it isn’t inherently hypocritical, and at the end of the day that’s all that really matters.

Trolls: They’re doing it for the Lulz (Part 2)

2010-07-17T17:04:00.000-04:00

So, with all that jazz about social taboos and offensive subject matter, I can tell you it's left the mods in a bit of peculiar and paradoxical situation. Consider it – we’re all twenty-somethings living in the big city. We’re from a wide-range of different cultural backgrounds and have, for the most part, grown up in open, inclusive, multi-cultural societies. In essence, we’re very aware of social sensitivities; they’ve been bred into our subconscious by years of public education and public service announcements aimed squarely at us.

As young children, the endless messages were beamed right into our heads: play nice, accept others, differences are what make us individually unique, celebrate diversity etc.

I don’t mean to be flippant – clearly this is vital, nay crucial for a society such as our own. However, when I say it was beamed into our heads, please take this as literally as possible. Hell, go a step further: it was drilled into the very essence of our beings.

That being said, we were also raised, as I previously mentioned, by the titans of off-colour comedy. Being from the Internet Age as we are, the adolescent tendency towards rebellion often manifests itself in the youth taking an avid interest in the realm of taboo, and the performers who test the limits of what’s considered appropriate and what issues can be satirized for comedic, perhaps even oddly educational, effect. Comedians like Dennis Leary, Chris Rock, Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks, David Cross and Dave Chapelle are largely responsible for really pushing the limits of offensive comedy, but underlying the curses, scatology and perversions lay a wealth of social truths. Satire is mainstream nowadays, as any devotee of Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart or Conan O’Brien would tell you. Consider the content of programs such as Arrested Development or 30 Rock – both mainstream, prime-time programming, and ask yourself if you think you could say the same thing on a mainstream Canadian network at the same time. Ask yourself if any of these comedians or programs could have survived the social censors of the last generation – a mere thirty years ago.

At the end of the day, what you need to realize is that while a bankable comedian can test the limits of vulgarity for effect, the average TXT-TV viewer probably shouldn’t.

After all, that’s why those comedians are called ‘bankable’. What they say has monetary consequences for their sponsors, the networks, the advertisers etc. As professional performers they have a very good idea of where the very thin line lies, and when they tap-dance all over it, they risk everything. There’s a school of thought, perpetuated by the devotees of the Andy Kauffman school of comedy, that suggest that Michael Richard’s racist nightclub rantings of a few years back may in fact have been an act, maybe even a staged act.

All I know is that Kramer crossed a line – nay, leaped over a line – and his career will never recover.

How this relates to Trolls is as follows. Regular people feel that they too can push the boundaries of vulgarity and taboo, and the anonymity of the Internet Age only makes the would-be troll more comfortable in pursuing their mischievous aims. Trolling can take on almost any form, happen anywhere people gather to exchange views and opinions, and can range from mere name-calling and shit-disturbing to in-your-face ambush interviews (and, suffice it to say, everything in between).

Trolling was an issue all Mods had to deal with starting on day one of our training as we carefully dissected what would be considered appropriate submissions for nicknames, profile pics, content submissions for the individual programs etc.

On the first day we aired we were confronted almost immediately with people who were trying to flood our system with pornographic images, vulgar nicknames and a steady flow of provocative, explicit and otherwise offensive messages.

After more than three months, it still happens, and as we’ve been gaining more viewers and more attention, it is unlikely to cease any time soon.

Trolls: They’re doing it for the Lulz (Part 1)

2010-07-09T14:54:00.002-04:00

So we’ve encountered a problem with trolling. It is both infuriating and, at times, fiendishly amusing.

What a catch-22 for a moderator!

Here’s the deal for the uninitiated: a Troll in common webspeak parlance is an individual who stirs shit with a single goal in mind. They’re their own personal amusement at your enraged, befuddled, jaw-dropped expense. These are the people in high school who would fart as loud as they could in the middle of a lecture just to wake the people up around them. The types who years earlier ate worms to gross out female classmates in the elementary schoolyard; a healthy breed of oddball sociopaths who gets “lulz” at your expense. "Lulz" incidentally is a bastardization of the term “lol”; it is as if lol was written by the cats from lolcats and conjugated in the style developed by the Cheeseburger Network

(If you don’t know, Google it on your iPhone – welcome to the future…)

A troll can take on many forms. Initially it applied to people who would write asinine and provocative comments on Internet message boards, such as newspaper and broadcaster websites, though at present no one is safe from trolling, and indeed everyone who runs a website with a message board is all too aware of these sick, hilarious people. Often quite contrarian -almost to an absurd degree, the common troll is looking to get you enraged, though he may or may not believe in what he’s writing, saying, hell – maybe even singing. He’s out to get your goat, as it were.

Who is a troll?

Glenn Beck is most likely a troll, and he has a syndicated radio show, not to mention a very popular infotainment program on Fox News Channel. In fact, he’s probably the most recognizable example of pure troll. Because he does it for the lulz.

Here at TXT-TV, the Mods have been encountering a problem with trolling.

Individuals send in all kinds of obscene messages, which due to various provincial and federal regulations we are prohibited from airing before 11pm. Moreover, there’s a bevy of other terms, words and phrases that for obvious reasons, can never air on Canadian TV. This would include, among other things, hate-speech, racism, libel and a wide range of cultural and social taboos.

As moderators, it’s our job to filter through the messages sent in and, in effect, censor those that violate the myriad rules concerning what’s appropriate for national television. This is a complicated, subjective and context-dependent problem for us to solve, and getting a specific consensus on how to deal with a problem that is inherently personal is even more complicated.

Thankfully, we have the benefit of working in teams, and this often leads to two or three-way discussions on meaning, intent and context.

It’s fascinating in its own right, and you tend to learn a fair deal about how people deal with taboos when they consider offensive statements in an objective fashion. It’s not easy, and we’re reminded constantly that the individual message has cost someone money.

Caution is the name of the game.

Continuation Continued?

2010-07-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

The evaluations have been hanging over our heads like the Sword of Damocles (don’t be lazy – wiki-it!) for a few weeks now. We dread it for all the same reasons everyone dreads being evaluated – the fear of a personal attack or of a denigrating comment leaving an especially nasty mark, one which throws your worldview into chaos and makes you question the very essence of your being.

Or, y’know, get pissed off and go out drinking until you can’t remember what it was you were upset about in the first place. Makes the world go round y’know?

Regardless of how we deal with the criticism, I find it hard to believe any of us will be judged overly harshly. Everyone seems to be enjoying their job and their colleagues' company. The group is gelling well and everyone seems legitimately interested not only in keeping their jobs, but seeing where this network is going to go, what the future holds (ouch – just realized that’s in a TXT-TV promo; been hearing that line too often I guess).

It’s a legit feeling of interest; three months in and a bond's been formed; didn’t take very long either before it got solid – these are important considerations from the mod’s perspective: a decent job is one thing, but good company at the job, the kind that naturally leads to collaboration and idea development, that’s crucial for high morale.

Morale seems to be the single most important currency for young people in a massive city during a recession – for what’s good pay worth if you’re miserable where you work? Maybe it’s a generational thing – my parents and their ilk, the boomers, can’t fathom why so many of us urban bohemian types judge jobs by whether they keep us happy in and of themselves, as opposed to the scales of pay and their bizarre Consumerist-Happiness associations. Oh well, I’m having a difficult enough time just wrapping my head around the world we live in; that issue will have to wait for another day.

The feelings of dread are palpable though; no one wants to be judged too harshly – and there’s a reason for that too. As the children of the boomers, we were told since day one – each and every one of us, how special and beautiful and righteous and great and amazing we all were (are). Not only re-enforced by our parents, but the education system, television and media in general, years worth of NFB shorts and YTV reminding us of how special we all are.

Turns out we youngsters bought it hook line and sinker back then and I think we’re not the best at handling criticism as a result. Whatever, Bert and Ernie never judged us…

Seriously though, I think we’ll be okay and there’s not a whole helluva lot to worry about. Part of ‘the dread’ stems from the fact that we’re the first batch of moderators; we’re the first group to go through the training, and we all came into this thing together. An element of this ‘fear’ is partially explained by the fact that we’re, in essence, making this up as we go along, sorting through problems and quandaries as they come up, often in a communal fashion. We owe our success to each other, and we seem to be succeeding together...

So what – me worry?

We’re Not Calling it Team Building

2010-06-28T17:04:00.002-04:00

So, it has been about three months that we’ve all been working here at TXT-TV. A few faces have disappeared off the face of the planet, while those that remain become more and more familiar, friendly.

Bonds are being formed and we’re even getting to know one another more intimately; after all, we’re in it to win it, and we’re in it together too.

Example – we’re all getting a good idea about each other’s relationship status, gossiping about one person’s annoying boyfriend and getting all excited about another moving in with their long-term girlfriend. It’s a kind of local currency, one you’ll find in just about any work environment. If you’re doing it right, people open up to you, let loose and discuss what it is that makes them who they are – problems and all.

So, what do we do for each other to cultivate our bonds of friendship?

Well, a few weeks back, one of the moderators had the brilliant idea to get a pool going so we could treat one of the team leaders to a fancy supper on his birthday. His hard work and dedication are inspiring to say the least, and we all thought getting him and his girl a night on the town was an ideal present. Suffice it to say it was definitely well appreciated and they both had an excellent time. It’s the little things like this that keep the bonds of the team strong.

This isn’t your typical corporate team building exercise – believe me I’ve been through those before, they’re terrible, and I can’t imagine anyone at TXT-TV wants to do that idiotic exercise where you fall into another person’s arms.

Quick sidebar – given my weight and height, when I fall, very few people are running to catch me, prepared or not...

See, good team building has to be organic. A solid team working to accomplish any given task or goal has to bond together for its own reasons, not because they feel obliged to.

The Luck of the Carefully Thought Out Draw

2010-06-23T14:49:00.004-04:00

So what are we interested in here at TXT-TV you may ask? Well, I can tell you what we're interested in: your happiness.

I know, I know, schmaltz right? But it’s true, and a few days back we made one lucky TXT-TV viewer a whole lot happier. That’s right. Neil L. of Scarborough, Ontario is the winner of the inaugural Lowest Bid Standing reverse auction contest, Touchdown Chowdown!

He and a friend have won tickets to see the Argonauts take on the Alouettes at the newly renovated Molson Stadium in beautiful downtown Montreal. They will stay at the luxurious Hotel du Fort and, of course, not have to worry about transportation or food and drinks - we're also covering that.

It’s just a little way for us to say thank you to our wonderful viewers.

Now if you’re starting to get all teary eyed because you think you’ve somehow missed the boat on TXT-TV contests, Lowest Bid Standing, or LBS as we have hiply called it, is in development as a whole new regular program on TXT-TV. As a reverse auction, the winner is the individual with the lowest unique bid on any given item. Strange? Yes! Financially tenable? Maybe! Waste of time? Absolutely not, just ask Neil Ledger, the first winner of our innaugural Lowest Bid Standing reverse auction contest!

Lowest Bid Standing will be coming to the TXT-TV airwaves soon enough in a whole new format, allowing all of our loyal viewers the opportunity to win cold, hard cash!

Think of LBS as yet another way to win, simply by watching and participating in TXT-TV, Canada’s most interactive television network.

Where the Vuvuzelas Won’t Work

2010-06-20T19:40:00.002-04:00

If you’re a red blooded Canadian like myself, a connoisseur of hockey, beavers, great open expanses of raw natural beauty and, of course, poutine, double-doubles and bison burgers, then you know one thing with absolute certainty – the Vuvuzela is an African knock off of the Hockey Horn.

That’s right, I’m claiming the Vuvuzela for Canada folks – if you’ve ever played peewee hockey in Canada, you know what a Hockey Horn is – it’s usually accompanied by shrieking mothers, rattles and as many video cameras as the trembling hands of the parents gathered can hold on to. But alas, what with Chicago’s beautiful Curse of Muldoon (look it up) ending Stanley Cup victory a few weeks back, there’s no hockey to watch, and little to play.

So then what do we do with a show like Road to the Cup, one of our best, and most watched, programs ever? D’uh – we re-formulate it for the purposes of the World Cup!

That’s right – we have soccer (football) fever – and we’re going to be tearing up the virtual pitch by offering you Road to the Cup; the World Cup edition - the fastest paced, lowest scoring, passing-intensive specialty sports chat show we’ve ever had!

But will there be any Vuvuzelas you might be asking?

Absolutely not! Considering that we can’t hear you, and no one’s going to bother spending a quarter texting in ‘bahzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’, we can offer you all the excitement of a Mexican sports-caster without the annoying cacophony of a stadium filled with proto-trumpet players!

And wait – if that’s not awesome enough – I can personally guarantee you we will stop all other programming for MOD messages that read: gooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllll!

The world’s sport is now in its cup mode, and no one cares about cups like us.

We don’t just use them as containers for various liquids, we also enjoy hoisting them up over our heads! The whole wide world is watching the elegant ballet of the third most important sporting event of the year, and you can get in on the ground-floor with all the soccer related chatting and texting you can imagine. The awesome number of lazy-boy refs and couch-surfing soccer jocks will make your eyes tear up in utter joy as you discover just how little you actually know about this amazing, death defying sport!

Road to the Cup (Soccer Edition) premiers Wednesday June 23^rd 2010 at 6:30 pm, and will air nightly at this time until the end of the competition. Enjoy watching TXT-TV!

Mood Altering & Mind Bending

2010-06-12T16:32:00.004-04:00

So, yesterday, after over three months of work here at TXT-TV, I found myself working with another moderator with whom I’ve never worked.

We had a good time, and as always I learned even more about how this place works, what the concerns are, what other mods think etc. There’s been a lot of buzz going on in the office.

The last few weeks seem to have seen a real upsurge in use, and a decent back and forth conversation has taken place more often than I can count. It’s odd comparing it to way back in the day when we just started out, since everything was a little stilted back then. People didn’t even seem to try to make that much sense y’know? Now we’re breaking usage records, and from what my moderation associates tell me, the overnight stretch is exactly where you want to be. Polite conversation prevents me from delving too deeply into its content, perhaps the teaser could be simply this; TXT-TV – after 11, it’s not polite!

Ahhh, in a previous life I was an ad executive at a high-powered Madison Avenue advertising agency; I was Dick Whitman…

What else to report on?

Well, as far as the program Road to the Cup is concerned, we’re still on the road, but we’re going after a different cup. That’s right, scream "Goal!" as long and as loud as you can, because we are taking it to the streets and looking for your hot, tempting opinions and ideas to help us get through the cosmic ballet that is international football competitions. Get out your Vuvuzela and blare it at your TV screen for maximum effect!

And on the note of international football competitions and their effect on Canadians, the following was related to me by a relative who works in a very cosmopolitan university: “You see, in the first week of competition, everyone is happy that they can participate in this great international equalizer – a similar sentiment as you’d have with the Olympics during the opening ceremonies. The second week, people start getting a tad defensive, a few off the cuff remarks, jokes etc. By the third week, people begin talking about how superior their nations are in relation to other countries. Everything is polite up until the final week, up until the point when it becomes obvious who’s going to battle it out for the big win. At that point, all you hear is one group calling the other ‘fascists’”.

Talk about hitting the nail on the head eh?

The First Rule of TXT-TV

2010-06-04T18:54:00.002-04:00

So, we had an interesting last few days I can report on.

There’s been a whole new buzz here.

We launched a bunch of revamped commercials and interstitials (the station call-sign, usually only a few milliseconds, now in glorious full-screen action), quickly followed by the deliveries of the first round of TXT-TV swag – stickers and Technicolor t-shirts; a must for any fashionista this summer!

Next came an interesting moderator-wide email reminding us to exercise a bit of caution (or at least some rudimentary research skills) when handling topic and issue suggestions from our loyal viewers. Turns out one of the subjects recently sent in to an episode of My Life Sux was in fact posted to another website recently.

But it wasn't one of our intrepid leaders who caught this - it was one of you - our loyal viewers.

Some of us have been trying to see what the limits are with regards to what we can post as topics, say to the public etc. It’s not in-house boundary pushing either – our myriad of bosses have made it abundantly clear what the boundaries are from within. No, what I’m talking about is more like whether or not you guys buy what we’re talking about. Clearly some of you do, since many of our topics elicit quite a fair bit of response.

But some of you are super sharp, eyes like eagles etc.

In my experience, I’ve had three unique texters tell me my facts were slightly off, or that a news story has changed since when I read it, and how something that may have been objectionable has in fact become acceptable due to new developments.

Long story short, we’re all learning quite a bit from you guys.So keep it coming....

Quantum Leap

2010-05-28T20:24:00.002-04:00

So yesterday I get the chance to see what all the recent hubbub’s been about. I know I’ve been regaling you with teasers about up-coming programs and the vagaries of the ‘change in the air’ – well, today I got a closure of sorts, though it felt far more like being catapulted into a whole new dimension.

And thus, a quantum leap.

TV networks casually go through multiple re-genesis, especially when they’re young. It’s casual because its to be expected, and truth be told, if there was one consistent message from top brass since we moderators got here, its been; “…expect change.”

So here we are, all gathered around one of the immense televisions strewn wildly throughout our office. Plastic inflatable couches, office chairs, folding chairs and the postures of those gathered round the screen reflect their position within the company. Management has its feat up, those most directly involved (i.e. – those who will work overnight to fix bugs) are standing, pacing, hunched over laptops, biting fingernails etc. The newbies, such as myself, stand at the back, quietly commenting on what’s going on as the detached observers we sometimes feel we are. We can’t quite grasp the full-on attention to detail paid by those on the production side of things.

Honestly, it’s not that different from being on a film set, which I had the great joy to experience a few years back. I remember how the producer and the director of photography carefully reviewed small segments of film in utter silence, constantly re-scanning what’s in front of them to pick out the slightest of errors.

Suffice it to say, things were a bit more jovial yesterday as we watched the new format, announcements, ‘interstitials’ (an industry term for a type of call-sign reminding you which channel you’re on and how it works, like a instructional commercial interspersed throughout each program, effectively breaking each show into parts) and general ‘feeling’ of a new improved version of TXT-TV. Think of what’s coming out over the next few weeks as TXT-TV 2.0 (I’m sure the production team probably see it as version 12 or 28 by this point).

It was something else, as I’m certain our loyal viewers will soon notice. Clean, sexy, dynamic and refreshing.

It looks higher-produced and better pitched. Considering last Saturday we had our highest number of unique texters ever, I wonder what records might be broken next week, or the week after for that matter.

Let us know exactly what you think of the new format and/or anything else you want to tell us about.

And remember, if you want your opinions to gain a little posterity, you can always comment on the blog – we here at TXT-TV are committed to a proactive approach with regards to user feedback and comments. They’re literally what keeps the internet running and relevant, so get it done.

Peace

Have You Ever Been Experienced?

2010-05-25T20:10:00.020-04:00

So it almost seems as though we’ve bypassed spring entirely and plunged ourselves right into a delightfully warm summer. Climate change? You bet! Haven’t bypassed everything related to the vernal equinox though – the cycle of change manifests itself within the hallowed walls of TXT-TV HQ as much as it does the fields and flowers.

So what’s been changing you might ask? Where to start...

New programs, new format, new look, new feel – and most importantly, more changes-a-comin’ (as my late-19th century gold-prospecting grandfather used to say). The way things work here, ideas come and go, often implemented until they become fully ingrained in the operation. If not, or if it seems like an idea may not go far enough, boom – its out and something new has come in to replace it.

Us Mods are being trained on the new programs, new policies and new formats that are being developed. Who’d have thought keeping up with the hi-tech Jones’ would require so much learning!? It seems like the longer I work here the more the job changes; we’re all moving along nicely and gaining valuable experience here, but it’s an experience of flux, transition and movement. Solid like a river I guess...

Last Saturday was pretty epic here, as we achieved an all-time record for unique texts in a single night. Everyone was very impressed since we had considerably more texters than we had projected.

As you can probably imagine already, the number of unique users has skyrocketed over the last couple of weeks. It was strange at the beginning, as we were being tested to see if we would let slip with an inappropriate profile pic, username or other submitted content. Long story short, we were prepared for the worst stuff imaginable, but instead got overloaded with people giving away a lot of personal info. Good time to remind all you folks out there – we all want you to participate as much as possible and really get into TXT-TV, just remember that personal info, like your legal name, phone numbers and email addresses are probably best kept to yourself. And don’t try spelling out your phone number, or using a simple letter-to-number substitution code, we already figured that out!

It’s a solid workplace dynamic, at least as far as the moderators are concerned – whatever stresses come up as a result of learning how to do this job as properly as we can are neatly tempered by the outrageous things said late-night at TXT-TV. Working with a group of Mods is straight up high-spirits...

I hope you’re all having as much fun as we are...

Smoke in the Kitchen

2010-05-23T14:05:00.003-04:00

Life has a great way of throwing you a wide variety of curveballs.

The more life you take in, the more curveballs you notice, until it gets to the point where you can’t even take the time to really notice the curveballs anymore.

Not to say you become ambivalent or unaware, I guess you just learn to roll with it. When you’re in on the ground floor of a brand new TV network, rolling with the curveballs becomes a major part of the process – from what I’ve seen you’ve got to be alert and flexible.

So speaking of curveballs – a smoky odour makes its way up through the ventilation ducts from the ground-floor restaurant. An alert moderator, working the weekend shift, detects this olfactory disturbance and promptly begins going through the textbook procedures of what to do in case of fire. There was no fire of course, just some steak left to become excessively well done. However, that not being known at the time, the mod had no choice but to make the call and pull the switch.

So yesterday an email goes out to all of us: ‘be alert in case of fire – also, be aware burning food does not smell like burning building...’

This is a valuable bit of information not to be understated. On that note, today when I walked into the building I smelt something – something a bit out of place...

Burning former warehouse that’s now the home of a brand new television station?

No...

Cookies?

As I diligently made way to the fire-alarm lever I was stopped by our fantastic office coordinator, a plate of slightly-singed chocolate-chip cookies in hand;

"Okay, I know they're a bit burnt but if you pull the alarm now the firefighters will never respond to a call from here again."

I took it all in:

Step 1 - Be aware; those are cookies, not burning cinder blocks.

Step 2 - Deftly remove your hand from the fire alarm lever and step away.

Step 3 - Consume cookies. Nom nom nom nom nom nom, mmmmmmmm....

Eye of the, apparently, Cheetah - or - Warholian Mao

2010-05-15T18:15:00.000-04:00

So, there are two very important pieces of eye candy in our office.

No, I’m not talking about the images of scantily clad models in our conference room, the pinups of some early-2000s cell-phone wallpaper campaign. Rather, I’m talking about a massive portrait of Chairman Mao, rendered purple and pomo the way only Andy Warhol could have imagined. This painting hangs behind the big boss’ desk. In the conference room is piece number two, a pack of wild cheetahs picking a zebra to pieces.

It goes without saying that every good enterprise needs a good interior decorating sense.

Whether it’s a paint scheme reminiscent of a supernova, all funked out, jazzed up yellows, reds and oranges, or the poster reminding us not to eat in the master control room (quick aside – it features some of the most disgusting, fattening foods ever imagined; hard to keep your appetite with that glaring at you) – the point is that the décor often has an underlying point.

If you’ve ever worked in a call centre (or browsed the internet for that matter) you’ll know what motivational posters are. They usually say something vaguely inspiring, like my personal favourite: “extraordinary: the only difference between it and ordinary is that little extra” – puke!

Thankfully, there are none of these mass-produced monstrosities here at TXT-TV.

“The Cheetah Picture”, as its known locally, is National Geographic quality, super glossy, not even in your face – its on the same wall as the door which leads into the conference room – ergo, you don’t notice it until you’re seated, by which time you’re trying to figure out what the cheetahs are doing. When you realize they’re feasting on the entrails of freshly iced zebra, well, you get a damn good idea of the top brass’ outlook on the business world. Fortunately it didn’t faze too many of us moderators. We all got a nice kick out of it; I guess our generation already digs on the cutthroat nature of business.

The painting of Mao is harder to wrap my head around. On the one hand, it’s goofy, disjunct and very post-modern. On the other hand, it was a bit disheartening to see when I first came in for my interview. I wonder if its meant to psych people out, or if its part of the twisted head-games I’m convinced are what separates us from upper management. Think on it – if you could be the boss of a big company, let alone a cutting edge television network, wouldn’t you want to be the boss on the road less travelled, the unique crazy guy sitting under Mao’s beaming quasi-smile? I know I’d love it.

So what am I, your intrepid moderator, to make of all this TXT-TV craziness? Go with the flow, take it in stride, protest vehemently? What am I to make of cheetahs devouring their prey and the enlightened leader of China’s communist revolution in the boss’ office? What am I to make of the other weird stuff you’ll find here at TXT-TV HQ?

Like in the waiting room, what can only be described as a wooden Einstein with outstretched hands, purportedly riding a skateboard. I’m still not sure what the purpose is, though its at least five feet tall, and a bit disconcerting when you’re leaving after the late shift and there’s a weird human form standing near the doorway. Then there’s the hockey puck imbedded in the glass door of the boss’ office, as though it was being slapshoted out of there. Yes, he’s a hockey fan, but who isn’t these days (BTW – be sure to check out Road to the Cup sports fans)?

So what am I to do? Confer with the other Mods of course.

Had the immense pleasure of working with several of my co-workers for the first time last night. Since I’m normally pulling day shifts it was a big change – and a welcome one too. In our conversation, I discovered they were also similarly perplexed. What a load off – at least now I don’t have to be puzzled alone. We had a variety of theories as to what these oddities were for – the message seems clear at least in one case, confusingly subtle in the other. Either way, our conversation, though of course it couldn’t be heard by the viewers, must have been picked up by osmosis. Haven’t had nearly as many new and repeat texters as last night – what a delight.

As for Mao and Cheetahs, well if its meant to inspire hard work, I think the Mods got the picture.

Cash Rules

2010-05-10T16:25:00.005-04:00

Well it was bound to happen eventually.

In my best late-19^th century patent-medicine salesman technique:

Ladies and Gentlemen, step right up and meet the modern marvel of methodical messaging!

What used to cost a dollar can now be yours for the low, low, unbelievably low price of a quarter!

Yes, that’s right – I couldn’t believe my eyes: now participating in the text messaging revolution that is TXT-TV is cheaper than ever before!

But why you ask?

Recession?

Depression?

The cost of our overhead was halved, then halved again?

No!

Absolutely not!

That’s preposterous in fact, overhead costs are skyrocketing, and because we’re not Goldman-Sachs (or had anything to do with them), we won’t be getting any bailouts!

Hooray?

Yes!

Hooray!

You can jump for joy or, preferably, express your sentiments with cleverly worded messages, because TXT-TV's chat and games shows now costs but a mere 25 cents!

Think about it – for way less than the price of a cup of coffee, you can tell the whole country about how peeved you are with rising costs of caffeine! Or whatever else is on your mind!

And that’s not all!

It isn’t?

No – it’s not!

Because we’re not offering this remarkable service at such low prices for a few weeks or even months – we’re offering this mind-blowing, thought-expanding, soul-refining text-messaging experience at these rock-bottom low prices from now on!

Think of it as our benevolent gift to you – our loyal viewers!

Get in on the action while the texts are still hot and spicy; enjoy your new super-premium TXT-TV; all the chat and games for a quarter of the cost.

TXT-TV, we speak your language...

What We're Doing With Your Feedback

2010-05-06T16:34:00.005-04:00

Over the last little while, we’ve been receiving some feedback from our loyal viewers, mostly pertaining to what people would like to see with regards to programming.

No huge surprises – people like talking about sex, celebrity sex scandals, scandalous celebrities, sports and vampires. Five thousand years of Western civilization and we’ve ended up devoting most of our mental faculties to Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. So be it – who am I to judge what people like?

What I do know is what I read in our viewer feedback file. In it are the suggestions we’ve received indicating what new programs people would like to see and participate in. To that end, we’ve come up with a few ideas we hope you’ll like.

In the coming weeks, we’ll be launching two brand new programs: Txtual Therapy and The Confessional.

Basically both of these programs will satisfy your growing need to tell us your dirty little secrets and wildest fantasies – anonymously of course. I’d suggest to all the users eagerly anticipating these new programs to upload their pics at www.txttv.ca and choose an on-screen nickname – you might not want people to know who you are, but you’ll still want to be remembered.

With Txtual Therapy, users have the additional benefit of being able to leave their problems open to other users' suggested solutions, furthering our goal of creating the most dynamic user experience ever.

The Confessional, as you might have guessed, is the place where you can confess your sins, garner the sympathy and forgiveness from other TXT-TV viewers, and wake up forgiven.

Aside from these new shows, we’re also super excited to announce the launch of a very special TXT-TV experience and a fun new activity for all of you thumb jockeys out there: Lowest Bid Standing. It's best described as a reverse auction, in which the lowest, unique bid wins. Yes – we’ve been told it’s crazy to do so – but frankly we don’t care. Look for Lowest Bid Standing at the end of May.

In the mean time, enjoy your TXT-TV experience – it’s entirely yours to create!

Road to the Cup

2010-04-30T15:27:00.008-04:00

So, bowing to the interminable pressure of being Canucks, we’ve come up with a brand new show for all you puck heads and stick jocks out there. Road to the Cup is the new, definitive, all-you-ever-cared-to-know-about-NHL Playoffs-but-were-afraid-to-ask chat show where your opinions may very well change the course of the next few playoff series.

Or at least change the mind of a committed Blue Jackets fan...

I’m not going to lie to you; I’m extremely superstitious when it comes to hockey, especially when it comes to my beloved Canadiens. I know, I know – I’ve heard it all before – washed up, past their prime, old news, former glory. It’s all noise to me. The Habs are more than just a dynasty – they’ve transcended our national pastime into a whole new realm of fanatical devotion.

Don’t believe me?

Consider that the Habs and Leafs will never be able to face each other in an NHL final again, and haven’t since 1967, yet the rivalry is as strong as ever. Not convinced? How about the Montreal fascination with rioting when the Habs win a quarter-final series, let alone the Cup. Yep, there’s always something magical in the air when it comes to hockey in Canada. Well, magical or insane – it’s so hard to tell sometimes. Regardless, my superstition has convinced me that if I watch the Habs in the first round they’ll lose. I know it’s silly, but who am I to play around with superstitions.

Better play it safe...

With TXT-TV’s Road to the Cup, we’re giving you the opportunity to weigh in, and it looks like there will be plenty to talk about. As it stands the Habs are moving on to battle the Penguins. And in the realm of unlikely matches, the Vancouver Canucks (admittedly, my second favourite team – I’m sure you can tell which side of the border I think Lord Stanley’s Cup belongs on) will face off against the Chicago Blackhawks in the Western Conference Semi-Finals.

The playoffs so far have had its fair share of drama, come-from-behind victories and unlikely eliminations, and already sports-fans have been exercising their thumbs telling me why it might be time for Martin Brodeur to think about coaching. A potential ‘Battle for Pennsylvania’ may be in the works, as Steel-Town heroes try their luck against the Broad Street Bullies. If you ever wondered about that Simpsons reference to the starting line-up of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers, all I can say is that they did their homework.

Those guys were brutal.

Hockey is more than just a game in this country, and despite the lame jokes, I’m glad what happens on the ice makes its way to the water-cooler, the bus stop, the school yard and every pub you can think of. Hockey is political and it’s always seemed to me that the game often reflects the struggles of our lives, the issues we deal with, and that’s why it will generate conversation long after the game is done.

With that in mind, you know why you need to get in on the text messaging action; may as well adapt the national pastime for the 21st century, eh?

Travelling at the Speed of Thought

2010-04-24T13:17:00.003-04:00

So, part of this job means you have to be pretty on your toes when it comes to a wide variety of diverse subjects, everything from sports, to politics, to entertainment, to sex – whatever people are talking about, its like you almost need to be an expert in it.

Almost – not totally.

Clearly, not everyone can be an expert, and not all experts can be experts all the time. Plus, you gotta remember that some people have particular strengths making them more adept at specific subjects. This, from what I’ve gathered, has been a tough hurdle in getting the network up and running – the managers of the TXT-TV moderators have to figure out where to schedule people, and from certain looks I’ve seen around the office, I think this has been a pretty big headache.

And it’s so vital too – it’s not like people can be thrown anywhere, a balance has to be found.

All I can say is big props to the people making this happen.

But on our side, we have to become as flexible as possible, to cover for one another, and also to try and get as many hours as possible. There’s the added advantage of being able to focus more on developing the moderator’s ‘character’ once the moderator has achieved a high level of general knowledge about current events and trends. Once that happens, and the focus turns towards character, the managers can determine what characters work best for different shows at different times. It’s not only complicated, but it requires a lot of unspoken cooperation. In sum, it’s a difficult balancing act.

Then there’s just trying to stay on top of what the current trend is.

For instance, major entertainment news blogs and websites are updated usually about three-four times as often as a major news site. So figure that TMZ keeps their content 3-4 times fresher than CNN or CBC. Fortunately, the boss and the managers picked out some pretty clever and connected people to keep on top of the latest. It should be of no surprise we’re mostly students and under the age of thirty. Man, I grew up feeling like I was a part of Gen-X, but now I find myself on the other side of a technology gap from people in their late-30s!

WTF? How did it happen?

My Gen-X cousins showed me how to use a computer, and now I use it better than they can imagine! Now I feel more like my own generation, simply because I know what’s going on that much faster.

Either way, knowledge is power, and I’m glad TXT-TV is traveling at the speed of thought.

Observations from the Desk Jockey

2010-04-17T19:20:00.001-04:00

So, a few things I’ve noticed around our office.

Take heed, management types, the workspace is very important, and a lack of imagination in how it’s designed can lead to a lack of creativity. This place, TXT-TV HQ, has no shortage of funky, eclectic style to keep you on your toes.

First, a few weeks back, a new ventilation system was installed. Now, every twenty minutes or so, a strange sound, like when you open a bottle of pop, except louder and followed by a thunderous ‘whoosh’, fills the office. Apparently, this is the a/c. It freaks me out each time. Also, for whatever reason, the building still alternates between shvitz and freeze, despite the new ventilation system. You gotta love old buildings – they’re too old to care who’s inside them.

Second, there are lights everywhere. Now this may seem like a no-brainer, but there are an awful lot of lights pointing off in various directions, not at anything in particular, and in some cases, pointing at very odd things, like directly into a vent, or at the exposed pipes. I have no idea what they are there for, and the building gets so much natural light, that they’re rarely turned on. Which means its especially bizarre to come into the office and only these oddball lighting fixtures, and not the table lamps, are turned on, while everyone keeps toasty under the warm, spring sun pouring in through the many windows. I wonder if upper management doesn’t spend some time at a huge console manipulating the temperature, lighting and breeze, laughing merrily while they watch the reactions of the employees.

Seems like something Dogbert would do.

Third, there are no cubicles, and man what a delight that is! Best part of working in a location without cubicles is that there are very few opportunities for drifting off or wasting time. The open concept office is going to save the economy, and the era of the drab grey cubicle, hopefully, will soon come to an end. Instead of using cubicles, there are plants all over the office, and I’ve been startled by my co-workers neatly camouflaged behind ferns and palms. When the windows are open and the breeze comes in off the water, it feels, faintly, like being up at the cottage.

Green leaves and cool misty breezes keeps people calm and focused.

What a pleasure to know that the people who run this show have given so much consideration making sure their environment, the place they call home for 8 or 10 hours a day, is as well designed as this.

Bafflingly loud a/c vent noises and bizarre temperature fluctuations aside, it’s a damned cool place to work and it suits the job perfectly.

But best of all, I’m sure the viewers would find it just as inviting.

Magically Deceptive

2010-04-10T19:00:00.001-04:00

So, today in the booth I got some texts I wasn’t totally prepared for. One of our loyal viewers texted in that she had the misfortune of having an inoperable tumour; and the response was totally heart warming. All of a sudden the screen was jammed up with well-wishing texts and a lot of big time props for being a great mom to her son.

So there you have it: one person’s misfortune gets a lot of other people’s attention, and the response was amazing.

It was weird too, having so many positive things being said during an episode of My Life Sux. Oh well, if you can’t beat em, join em.

Also, people were not impressed with Nike’s new Tiger Woods advertisement. Good to know our viewers are as well informed and ethically grounded as us. Comment of the night goes out to McHorton, who said: “who’d of thought your dead dad could help you sell golf clubs?” - roflmao!

It’s weird though, with the chat shows you get a real mix bag of opinions and ideas, all at the same time. It’s like life turned down the filter something fierce, and everyone just lets their innermost opinions and ideas out into the ether. It’s bizarre, as a moderator, you spend so much time focused on making everything work properly, you can’t get too caught up in what’s being discussed.

But then something gets said that you can’t take your eyes off of.

It’s really rewarding and fulfilling to know that the other moderators are having similarly interesting experiences, and good for the whole network to know that people are watching, texting, and participating. Even though the raw feed of people’s ideas, thoughts and feelings can be hard to handle, people generally are not.

When people come together out of earnest interest, it can be magical.

Set the Master Control Room’s Controls for the Heart of the Sun

2010-04-02T18:43:00.007-04:00

Anyone who gets this classic rock reference will earn one million Karma Points. Karma Points are not legitimate points and do not work towards any particular prize, aside (of course) from the prize of karmic re-alignment, as determined by the cosmos.

At first I was like, moderate conversations? D’uh, of course I can do that. What a no-brainer!

Then, after a few weeks of waiting for a call-back I grew concerned that I had misread the application. Did it say "moderate conversions"? Or was I supposed to moderate conversations between concerned conservative-moderates? Or was it to modernize conservative conversions into moderate conversations?

My brain was on overload before I had even walked into the booth.

On my first day in the Master Control Room, my job was to play around with the system, familiarizing myself with the controls, the screens, the mixer etc. It’s a lot like the on-air booth in a radio station, and for that reason it feels like an important place, a physical space that needs to be respected.

After all, there’s a lot of money in this room, a lot of high-tech gadgetry. Stuff that doesn’t function very well under particular circumstances. Say, like the dust coming out of the wall as the construction workers install a much-needed ventilation system. And I’m working in their midst. They’re overly apologetic for disturbing me, but I tell them its no problem and I’m not really live just yet. Always be kind to construction workers, especially the guys installing your climate control.

I’m tense sitting in front of the screen, as I’m generating conversation to test the systems; trouble-shooting comes naturally after going through training, though you still strain to remember everything you’ve been taught, not wanting to ask a stupid question. As much as I say there are none, we all know there are. Pushing the big red button is a definite no-no; bringing any food or drink into the booth is also a major no-no. Using the profane language you’re trying to moderate out of the conversations, is a HUGE no-no. And you wouldn’t believe the number of times things go totally FUBAR and you just wanna curse the world out.

Something I’ve noticed about people who have to pay special attention to the language they use, they swear like champions. True masters of expletive-based linguistics. This seems to ring true for some of the staff here. Including the bosses.

A few days later I’m back in the Master Control Room here at TXT-TV HQ, but this time it’s for real.

And that means several people standing behind you watching you work, a more unnerving prospect I can’t imagine. They all mean well and everyone knows that its impossible to work effectively with someone standing behind you, but it can’t be helped, because the whole team needs to see the system working, keeping their eyes open for the little glitches that separate a solid product from a mediocre one. No one here is interested in mediocrity.

So we hammer it out together and I keep my eyes on several windows spread out over four screens. I feel like a pilot. I keep darting my eyes across all four, mind the time, mind the levels, mind your language, mind your manners.

And all of a sudden, messages start coming in. And they're perfectly tame. It’s a salutation or a comment; almost neutral comments.

And I move my mouse and press the accept button.

Simple wasn’t it?

And then came the deluge: holy crap people are raunchy potty-mouths!

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

2010-03-28T22:07:00.001-04:00

Hmmm, maybe that’s a touch too dramatic, or maybe I’m on a real Led Zeppelin tangent.

Things have been moving and shaking here as kinks are ironed out and programming is adjusted. I was amazed to see the numbers that have come out so far; people seem really psyched about the network. This could have something to do with a couple of ads going up on the “barker channel” on Rogers. But one thing is clear: people like to chat. A lot. Our evening chat programs are seeing a lot of traffic. Not a surprise: shows like “Sxt it Up” are pretty popular. But the amount of noise coming in regarding the recent passing of the health care bill in the US caught me off guard.

Even within the relatively democratic realm of TXT-TV, plenty of people got caught up in the passion of the moment and hotly debated the topic; similarly to some of the debates that we’ve seen coming out of the US. Sometimes I think there might be a real problem of communication though. As we saw on CNN and the CBC over the last year – yes, an entire year – the conservatives south of the border pulled out every trick in the book, every method they could come up with, to make Americans fear health care.

And what’s to fear? Being healthier? Not paying for operations or medication? Not being refused service at a hospital? What were they on about anyways eh?

As I slowly digested their half-cocked arguments, I realized the problem wasn’t the issue (health care) at all. The entire year of debate wasn’t even a debate. It was a lot more like a professional wrestling match. Shouting, taunting, back-flips, folding chairs and tight spandex – that’s how it came across to me. Oh, and crying, lots of crying.

I still have hope though, despite the constant noise, because I know how the real world operates (ok – not fully, I just turned 25, but I can fake being a 30 year old pretty well). The real world operates pretty efficiently, because we’re all speaking the same language and we’re not trying to confuse each other. That’s why TXT-TV encourages me.

People are having a real conversation, they exchange ideas and thoughts and the moderators keep things moving fluidly. Some people are definitely more opinionated than others, but the conversation keeps rolling along, it doesn’t get stuck in a ditch, y’know? Either way, this new medium lets people speak in a new way – so we’ll speak our way and understand each other, and everyone else will just have to catch on.

Like a Kid in a Candy Store

2010-03-22T11:40:00.008-04:00

So a few days back I’m standing outside TXT-TV HQ, enjoying my coffee, when I see a bunch of pre-school kids being led into the candy store across the street.

And it’s one of those high-end, luxury, candy stores too.

Did those kids have the slightest idea what they were getting into?

I can picture it in my head: the day before on the playground the tikes had a meeting:

“The rumours are true! I got the email confirming it! Tomorrow we go to El Dorado!"

"Then the prophecy has come to fruition my friends – today we rejoice, tomorrow we gorge!”

And then the kids lit off some illegal fireworks they got their hands on; and they were all very happy – like this:

Right now, I feel like a kid in a candy store.

Candy stores are about the anticipation of choice; you know you’ll like pretty much anything in the store, so for kids, the point is about considering your options, and having free reign to choose whatever they want. Quantity isn’t the issue, quality is – and no one knows candy quality like children. It’s part of their culture, and we should respect that.

Another thing: Tomorrow I turn 25.

Been getting a lot of the ‘what’re ya gonna do wif yer life?’ from el familia.

As TXT-TV’s official blogger, I think I’m doing alright for myself. A quality life so far, eh? A new TV network, new ideas, everything so new it has a nice shine, and feels plush like warm velour.

And a new job means new opportunities – and again, quantity isn’t the point, quality is.

Meeting people who honestly care about their jobs is a big part of the process. It makes everything so worthwhile. What’s more, it energizes your spirit, adds to your commitment, and makes you think about all the possibilities.

A quality job and a quality product can go a long way, especially in times like these. All around we see what has happened to a society that stopped producing, and drifted off towards limitless consumption. People are angry, they don’t have answers to their problems, and everyone wants a scapegoat. We all got so used to quantity; we didn’t notice the quality of our lives had taken a hit.

Which is why you need to pay attention to the youth.

Despite the inexperience and folly of youth, my own as an example, there is something to be said for the purity of spirit of a small child. The same child that will confer with his or her friends, debate the merits of Gobstoppers and Runts, and carefully choose the ideal candy for this special occasion. Regardless of what they choose, they’ll be happy they had the choice at all, and for that reason they’ll choose purposefully.

I’m standing on the ground floor of a major local company; a company that produces something very valuable: open and public conversation. What’s more, I fill an interesting space; moderating, blogging, tweeting, writing.

The product we offer is evolving quickly, and I can only imagine the entire process of developing a new television network behind a radically innovative idea to be, essentially, a long process of careful consideration. So many different combinations of offers, rules, constraints, capabilities and costs to deliver the new, the cutting edge. So many decisions that worked out for the best, the result of deliberate calculation. And best of all, we have the viewers who are adding to the content we generate, giving more options, a higher quantity of quality content and ideas. We’re in the candy store with you, working to achieve the highest amount of total satisfaction.

Earlier this week saw a celebration for the launch of the network.

We’re having champagne at eleven in the morning in the conference room and I realize we either have too many employees or our conference room is simply too small.

On the other hand, a small conference room packed with people having a drink is a nice moment to have, to share with other people. It’s a mitzvah, especially when it comes with a round of sincere kudos for a job well done.

I’m enjoying how this experience is unfolding, to say the least.

But most of all I’m enjoying watching the human condition evolve, and see a group of committed and passionate people do what they like doing to the best of their abilities.

It’s a rewarding and thoroughly cathartic situation to be in when you’re turning a quarter century old.

Here’s to three more quarters!

Blast Off!

2010-03-17T14:50:00.013-04:00

Well now we've done it.

What's that? What is it we've done?

We launched a TV network.

What are you doing right now?

Texting in to TXT-TV? Good to hear.

It makes me wonder what people were doing when they launched the first TV network. Like ever. That first black and white screen, with some sweaty guy reading the newspaper, occasionally looking up and wondering if anyone was watching, if the idea would take flight.
He probably thought it was going to fail. After all, they had radio, vaudeville and the 'talking picture' - who'd want a television?

Alexander Graham Bell had it easy. He called his assistant in the next room and asked him to come over. The assistant came over and they popped the cork - the telephone would change everything.

Guglielmo Marconi had it easy. All he had to do was send a quick message across the Atlantic by wireless - the old wireless, wireless radio - and he had the whole town of St-John's Newfoundland to help him out. Radio would change everything, and he knew that.

The Wright Brothers? For sure they had it easy. After spending several years building and repairing bicycles they figured they'd see if they could build an airplane. Sure people thought they were crazy, but the Wright Brothers knew - if it worked, they'd change everything - if it didn't work, only they would be changed, permanently.

And on that fateful day, Orville and Wilbur’s parents gave them this terrible advice:

“My sons, don’t sell the bike shop. When you’re done playing with your airplane toy, Mr. Nicholson’s Penny Farthing needs a tune up."

For those of you who’ve had your dreams crushed by old fashioned people, don’t give up. For those of you not born in the 19th century, a penny farthing:

So here it is, we've gone live. Years of work and several months of really intense work have all led up to this day, and I wonder what the future holds.

True to form, some of the best answers come from the past. The first ever, experimental text message was sent in 1992, but it wasn't until 2000 that text message services were integrated into the cell-phone package. 10 long years ago, and a world of difference in those ten years.

Now, texting is an entirely new mode of communication, with a new language, new expressions etc. New social issues we never had to consider before, like texting while driving (don't do it!) or sexting (do it!), or the fact that doctors now diagnose 'Blackberry Thumb,' have now surfaced. We all saw the pictures and read the text messages of Iranian youth, protesting in the streets of Tehran last year, and high-society has caught on to; we've got texting etiquette (textiquette?) now.

On that note, a couple of rules from Emily Post:

CAPSLOCK means you're shouting, please use your indoor texting voice.
Keep it brief, i.e., if its longer than 140 characters, call the person instead.

I guess there's still plenty to worry about, but it seems like we all took a collective sigh of relief today. Everything's going smoothly. Problems and hiccups are being dealt with, not freaked out upon. The big TV in the middle of the office is like the window into the newborn ward at the hospital, a collection of new parents wander by to see how their kid is doing. Each time they pass and see everything's alright, they let the sleep deprivation get to their heads.

Everyone gets a little giddy.

When I was a kid I used to get giddy watching the Space Shuttle take off. I still do.

I feel the same way now.

I wonder if this means I can play astronaut after work?

Countdown to Launch

2010-03-16T22:36:00.006-04:00

So the last few days have been really crazy here.

Crazy good though, crazy busy.

The team’s been put together and we all graduated from TXT-TV Academy (it’s true, and I have the signed diploma to prove it). As newly-minted moderators, we’ve been busy putting the soft and hardware through its paces. It’s been a tough process – there are a lot of oddball rules and regulations you need to know, almost by hand, to get a TV station off the ground. So we’ve been testing and training, trying to see what will work and what won’t. It’s been a pain, but at least we’ve had fun doing it. We also got to know our more seasoned co-workers, who spent the last few days leaving outrageous messages and curveball references for us to sort through.

I’m starting to think my boss only deals with sick twisted people.

But, y’know, sick and twisted in a nice, older-sibling kind of way; like their obscenity is more about teaching you how to use it than really offending someone. I suddenly have the warm fuzzies.

Starting a new job has other challenges too. Typically, at home, with friends or in class, I’ve got a bona fide goofball personality. I joke around a lot, mostly to make people laugh and take the edge off meeting people for the first time. It’s weird, I like breaking the ice – quickly. But at the same time, when I’m nervous, I can be irreverent, maybe a bit distant. Trying to figure out how to present yourself in a serious/ fun/ creative environment can get tricky, and I’ve seen a lot of people wear many hats. So you sit back and relax, focus on the job and know in time those nervous first steps will start to even out. I’ve been told by enough people not to let it get to me, but what can I say – even Joe Cool has his off days right?

I made introductions to more established members of the TXT-TV team and felt a nice rush of calm come over me – off on the right foot. They tell me they were much the same on their first days with the company, but the atmosphere is just right to get things straightened out pretty quick. Was introduced to a guy named Tony Dynamo, and yeah like the name suggests, he’s a live-wire.

So what did I learn here over the last couple of days?

There’s no need to be nervous: going with the flow and being yourself is the only way to go. I guess the key is to be aware that being nervous can make you a smidge unlike yourself. Feel like I’m lighter all of sudden.

Hmmm, what else?

There are action figures everywhere, and they all seem to be in boxes, for show. Someday something epic is going to happen to all those toys, but I’m biding my time. Actually, as I write this I’m sipping brandy petting a snow-white cat – a purrfect way to be patient. Too lame?

You should’ve been there for the last couple of days of TXT-TV testing: you know how when people haven’t had a lot of sleep but have had a lot of coffee, and they start cracking silly jokes about words they find funny, and then that ends up an endless stream of terrible puns? Yeah, that’s been the last few days. I know the days coming on down the pipes will be hectic, but I can deal. We’ve crossed the threshold now, the anticipation is building to the launch…

… 3… 2…1...

Hello, my name is...

2010-03-11T20:50:00.001-05:00

Every once in a while you find yourself in the middle of a great idea.

This blog is about the launch of a new TV network and the cast of characters who will make it work. It’s a new idea and we’re all new to each other, and I’ve been given the enviable job of letting you see behind the scenes.

Now, before I dive headlong into this post, you should know that, aside from the boss, no one knows who’s writing this blog. There may be more than one of us. You can call me anonymous if you want. Just know that you’re getting unscripted reality in the raw, just the way you like it.

So a few months ago I saw a post on my school’s online job bank –

“New TV network being launched and we need you!”

Me, really?

I was honoured.

“A brand new television experience, TxT-TV! Engage in a fully interactive television experience! Chatting! Games! Trivia! Voting! Contests! Exclamation points!”

They needed people to help moderate the discussions, introduce topics of conversation, make sure no lunatic hijacks the whole thing with endless conspiracy theories. I thought to myself; “Oh, ok, the usual.” I played it over in my mind and I saw Cartman saying ‘respect my authoritay’ – I was sold.

Fast forward a few weeks and I’m sitting down at a big table in a big office. An orange-red-yellow office, with a copy of F*** My Life on the coffee table, inflatable neon furniture; I feel like I’m walking onto the set of a sitcom about twenty-somethings doing something techy. Tattoos and piercings and Warhol and rockstar attitudes – and that’s just the boss!

Sitting around the table’s a bit dull, the powerpoint a bit too long, aimless. We had been given homework, to read through the manual, learn how the system worked etc, and I was psyched to get going. We get the gist of the idea – user generated television, text messaging meets TV.

We get introduced to the programs – a chance to chew the fat, to let-loose, to vent or to prove how smart you are. We meet the people involved, and see what had been prepared for us to test. I look around the table and see a bunch of people not unlike myself, different yet similar. A mom, an actor, a singer, a chef, a writer, a manager, a promoter – I’m convinced we all carry these jobs around with us. Ever felt you’ve tried your hand at all that’s been tried before?

The boss is confident. The managers are confident. The office – though it really is more of a studio – is confident. Everyone’s confident except us – eight people sitting around a table, unsure of where this is going, whether we’ll succeed.

After what seems like an eternity discussing the intricate details of our jobs as moderators, we finally get to test the system and see what we’re made of, though we’re all caught off guard. We blush: “What song did you lose your virginity to?” is the topic.

Let me give it to you straight – this question can tell you a lot about people you barely know, and as far as icebreakers go, well, let’s say we all got real comfortable real quick. True to form, those I had pegged as geeks, nerds, shy etc were the complete opposite. Since we were just screwing around to test the system (and our abilities as moderators) we let fly – weeks of anticipation, frustration and trying to figure out a work-in-progress came out in a torrent of pure unadulterated raunch.

I think I’m in good hands.